You’ve prepared your presentation. You know your content. You’ve practised what you want to say. But then the moment gets closer and the nerves start to build.
Your heart races. Your mind starts questioning everything. What if I forget what I want to say? What if people judge me? What if I’m not good enough?
When we feel nervous about speaking, it’s easy for our attention to turn inward. We start focusing on ourselves – how we sound, how we look and what other people might think.
But there is another place to focus.
Why you’re speaking.
Why finding your purpose can help when nerves take over
In the early days of giving presentations, I focused on the usual things. Structure, clarity, timing, delivery. What I didn’t realise at the time was that I hadn’t asked myself why I was speaking. I knew what I was saying, and how I wanted to say it but not why.
When you’re clear on why you’re speaking, your focus starts to shift. Instead of thinking only about whether you’re getting everything right, you can focus on your audience and what you want them to take away. Your nerves may still be there, but they don’t have to take over.
Give yourself a reason to keep going despite the nerves
When you’re clear on your purpose, why this presentation matters to you, then it really helps push past the nerves. You stop worrying about whether people will like you and start focusing on whether they’ll understand what you’re trying to say.
Speaking can feel uncomfortable because it often puts us in a position where we feel visible. We worry about making mistakes, being judged or not coming across how we want to. For women, this can feel even harder when we’ve spent years navigating expectations around being likeable, not taking up too much space and getting our message across in the “right” way.
I noticed this in my own experience.
When I wasn’t particularly connected to the topic or the outcome, it was much harder to find the motivation to push through the nerves. The fear felt bigger because I wasn’t always clear on why I was putting myself in that uncomfortable situation.
But when I organised and hosted an event for International Women’s Day, something shifted. The nerves were still there. I still had the same worries and doubts. But I cared deeply about the topic, the message and what the event could achieve. Because it mattered to me, I had an extra reason to step forward and do it anyway.
Knowing why you’re speaking gives you something stronger to focus on. You’re not standing there because you have to be perfect. You’re standing there because the topic matters, the outcome matters, and what you’re trying to achieve is important.
What does it look like in practice?
Your reason for speaking doesn’t need to be profound. It could be as simple as:
- “I want to help people avoid the mistake I made.”
- “I want to speak up because this idea matters.”
- “I want to show I’m ready for more responsibility.”
What matters is that it feels important to you.
Finding your why
Start with these questions:
- What do I want the audience to take away from this?
- Why do I care about that?
- What would it mean to me to share this well?
If you find this hard to answer, that’s OK. Many of us haven’t been taught to connect to purpose. We’ve been taught to perform, to impress, to be polished. You don’t need the perfect answer. Even a small connection to why you’re speaking can help give you the motivation to push through when any nerves appear.
How purpose helps you push through when nerves appear
Purpose won’t eliminate all fear. But it gives you a reason to push through the nerves. It reminds you that you’re not speaking just to tick a box. You’re speaking because you have something to say. And that can often make the discomfort worth it.
When you’re nervous about speaking, you need to draw on courage just to open your mouth. And that takes effort. If the topic doesn’t really excite you, it’s much harder to find that courage in the first place. That’s why it helps to find something you care about, something that genuinely matters to you.
I’ve had clients tell me that connecting with purpose was the thing that helped them finally say yes to presenting. Not more practice. Not memorising the script. Just pausing long enough to ask, why does this matter to me?
Want to feel more confident about public speaking?
If you’ve been holding back from speaking up in meetings, presenting your ideas, or saying yes to new opportunities because of nerves, you’re not alone. The fear of public speaking is incredibly common, but it doesn’t have to control your choices.
My online course, Speaking with Confidence is designed to help you understand what’s really going on when nerves kick in, and give you practical tools to build confidence from the inside out. If you’re ready to feel differently about speaking up, you can find out more here.
