When you’re nervous about public speaking, I think it really helps to have a better understanding of the physical signs of nerves. If you understand a bit more about why they show up and what they mean it can help to reassure you that they are normal. When you normalise them you can stop fighting them and start to find some calm in the moment.
You know that feeling. Your heart’s pounding. Your mouth’s dry. Your hands feel shaky and your thoughts start racing ahead. You’re about to speak, maybe it’s just your turn to share something in a meeting and suddenly your body has activated full panic mode!
This used to catch me off guard. I would prepare for a presentation and then 5 minutes before it was time to speak my body would kick in like I was under real threat. I remember thinking: Why am I reacting like this? What’s wrong with me? But actually, there’s nothing wrong with you. Your body’s not malfunctioning. It’s doing exactly what it’s designed to do.
Your Nervous System Doesn’t Know You’re in a Meeting
When you feel nervous about speaking, you’re often experiencing a stress response. This is your body’s way of keeping you safe.Your brain doesn’t see a polite boardroom or a well-lit Zoom call. It senses uncertainty, exposure, and risk. And when that happens, it kicks off a cascade of physical responses. And it’s not overdramatic, it’s primal.
What’s Really Going On in Your Body
Some of the things you might notice when you’re feeling nervous about speaking include:
- Increased heart rate: This happens because your heart pumps more blood to your muscles so you can take action fast.
- Rapid breathing: Your lungs bring in more oxygen to fuel your body and brain.
- Adrenaline and cortisol release: Stress hormones are released to heighten your alertness and energy.
- Sweating: Helps cool your body down in anticipation of exertion.
- Dry mouth or nausea: Blood is diverted away from digestion, to help you get ready for ‘fight or flight’.
- Shaking or trembling: A common reaction as your body adjusts to the adrenaline surge.
- Tense muscles: Prepares you to run, fight, or freeze.
- Dilated pupils: Allows more light in, helping you scan for danger.
- Heightened senses: You become hyper-aware of sound, light, and movement.
- Cold hands or feet: Blood is redirected to essential areas like your core in readiness for ‘fight or flight’.
- Tightness in chest or throat: Muscles contract as part of the body’s prep to act quickly.
- Butterflies in the stomach: A side effect of your digestive system slowing down.
- Jumpy thoughts or straight out going blank: Your brain is focused on scanning for threats.
These are automatic. You’re not overreacting. Your body is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do when it thinks you’re at risk.
The Problem Isn’t the Fear – It’s the Story We Tell Ourselves About It
When we feel these sensations, we often assume we’re not ready. Or not confident enough. Or that we’re just not good at speaking. But those physical signs aren’t telling you that you’re incapable. They’re telling you this matters. That you’re stepping into something new or something that feels important to you. And your nervous system is trying to help, even if it’s a bit misguided about what’s actually happening!
So, instead of trying to completely get rid of the nerves, I’d encourage you to try to work with them instead. For me, I did this by trying to notice the feelings I was experiencing but doing so with kindness and without any judgement. I’d get a tight feeling in my chest and think: Ah, there you are. That means I’m doing something that matters to me.
So, What Actually Helps?
Let’s be honest, when nerves strike, most of us go looking for a quick fix. A magic hack to make it all stop. And I get it. Who wouldn’t want a simple trick to make the shaking hands and racing thoughts disappear? But unfortunately we can’t magically stop our nerves, no matter how many sips of water we take!
What does make a real difference is sustained mindset work. From slowly shifting how you think about yourself as a speaker, how you relate to fear, and what stories you tell yourself about your abilities. That kind of shift doesn’t happen overnight but it’s where the confidence starts to grow. Quietly. Consistently.
That said, there are things that can help you feel more steady in the moment. Tools that bring your body back into balance, so you’re not completely hijacked by adrenaline. They’re not about faking confidence, they’re about helping you stay present enough to speak as yourself. You don’t need to eliminate the nerves to speak well. You just need a few ways to meet yourself in the moment. Here’s what I use (and what I share with my clients):
- Breathe low and slow. A long out-breath is your best ally as it tells your body you’re safe.
- Feel your feet. Literally. Press them into the ground. It brings you back to now.
- Loosen your jaw. It’s a small thing, but it helps interrupt the tension cycle.
- Remind yourself why you’re speaking. Coming back to purpose often steadies the panic.
And most importantly: don’t wait for the fear to disappear. The goal isn’t zero nerves. It’s finding enough calm to keep going.
This Is a Practice, Not a Performance
Every time you speak up, even when it’s wobbly, you’re building trust with yourself. You’re showing your brain that yes, it feels risky… but you can do it anyway. Over time, that changes things. You might still feel nervous when speaking but the nerves stop being in charge.
Want to Go Deeper?
If you’re tired of feeling like your nerves are in charge every time you speak, my 1:1 coaching or group workshops might be just what you need. They are designed for women who want to understand what’s really going on beneath the fear and learn simple, mindset shifts to help them feel more steady and in control when speaking.
Find out more about the services I offer here.
