We’ve all heard the stats about how people fear public speaking more than death. But I think we sometimes miss the reason why it matters so much, why it stirs something deep within us. It’s not just about standing on a stage or delivering a slick presentation. It’s about being seen, heard, judged.
Speaking can feel uncomfortable, especially for women, because it often puts us in a position where we feel visible (in ways many women have been conditioned to avoid). We worry about making mistakes or not coming across how we want to. For women, this can feel even harder when we’ve spent years navigating expectations around being likeable, not taking up too much space and getting our message across in the “right” way.
So yes, public speaking matters. Because it’s not just about speaking. It’s about showing up and sometimes pushing against deep rooted societal and cultural expectations. And that’s brave.
Why Your Voice Matters
You might be reading this because you avoid speaking up. Maybe you always say no to opportunities. Maybe you’ve watched others take the lead (even when you have something valuable to say). I’ve been there too.
But your voice really does matter. Not just in big, showy moments, but in the everyday ones. Sharing your ideas in meetings. Speaking up for your team. Saying what you need in a negotiation. We need to hear more women’s voices and ideas in every team and in every workplace.
Speaking up can influence your progression
Being able to speak up can shape your visibility, your credibility, and let’s be honest, your career. Because when people don’t hear your voice, they can underestimate your value. And when that happens repeatedly, it affects progression, promotion, influence – all the things you might be working really hard for. And the data shows us this is already weighted against women.
Finding a way to speak despite the fear isn’t about ego. It’s about fairness. About being part of the conversation. About taking your place, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Why It Feels So Hard
When we speak in front of others, we invite judgment. We risk getting it wrong. And if you’ve ever been laughed at, overlooked, or told you seem nervous, those moments stay with you.
There’s nothing wrong with you if you find it difficult. It is difficult. Not because you’re not capable, but because you care. Because you want to do justice to what you’re saying. Because you’re human.
Understanding Your Fear: What’s Really Happening in Your Mind
When fear shows up before we speak, it’s not random. It’s your nervous system doing its job. The brain’s threat response (the part wired to keep you safe) doesn’t distinguish between a tiger in the wild and a room full of peers. It just senses risk, exposure and uncertainty. And it floods your body with adrenaline to get you out of there.
It’s often a physical response. You can feel the tension in your jaw, the butterflies in your stomach, the rush of thoughts convincing you you’re not ready. This is your body protecting you. But fear doesn’t mean you’re not supposed to do it. It means you’re doing something that matters. Something just outside your comfort zone.
You’re Not Broken If You’re Nervous
We don’t talk enough about the fact that nerves are normal. Not a flaw. Not a sign you’re not cut out for this. Just a natural part of stretching into something new or something that feels important.
I still get nervous when I speak sometimes. I still feel the tightness in my chest and the voice in my head saying, “Who do you think you are?” But I’ve learned to see those nerves as part of the process. Nerves mean I care, that I’m present.
And every time you speak with heart (even when you show up real and a little wobbly) it gives other women the permission to do the same.
Want Support to Feel Calmer and More Confident When You Speak?
If you’re still wondering how to move through the fear and find more steadiness, I’d love to support you. My one-to-one coaching programme is for women who want to stop avoiding the moments that matter and start speaking with more ease.
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about building confidence in a way that feels sustainable and real, so you can say yes to the opportunities you care about.
You can find out more here.
