When I had a fear of public speaking, I viewed my nerves as an obstacle and wished I could completely get rid of them. Nerves made me feel sick, stressed, and anxious. Nerves are bad, right?
Well, what if I told you that shifting your perspective and embracing nerves can be a game-changer – it was for me.
Nerves are normal
What if the aim wasn’t to get rid of nerves completely, but instead to accept that nerves are normal?
Yes, you might need to find ways to make them more manageable. But when I let go of the unrealistic expectation of eradicating my nerves, I no longer felt like a failure when I experienced them (which I still do sometimes). And that’s okay. Actually, it’s good. Yes, you heard me right, I said nerves can be good.
Three reasons why nerves can be useful
1. Nerves Are an Indicator of Growth
Nerves often appear when you’re about to embark on something significant. They say, ‘Hey, this matters to you!’ They are a sign that you are growing and challenging yourself.
When I really examined my nerves, I found they didn’t show up every time I spoke in public. Actually, there were specific situations where I got particularly nervous. I was fine in a team meeting, but if the director dropped in – no, I couldn’t handle that. I was fine if the group was five or six people. In a large group – no way!
My nerves showed up when I was stretching the edges of my comfort zone, and that’s okay. It’s called a comfort zone because it’s comfortable. But the comfort zone is not where you grow and develop.
So if you want to develop your public speaking skills stepping outside your comfort zone will be required. Either jumping right outside it or at least nudging the edges of it. And guess what …. that’s likely to feel uncomfortable and that’s completely normal.
Is it time to leave your comfort zone? Find out in this blog by Harvard Summer School.
2. Nerves Fuel Personal Development
Nerves can keep us on our toes, encouraging us to prepare and put our best foot forward. If you weren’t nervous, you might turn up to a presentation without any preparation – and unless you’re one of the lucky few who can wing it well, that doesn’t usually end well.
For a big presentation or interview, I carve out time to prepare, think about the outcome that I want, take steps to better understand my audience, and reflect on how I can leave an impact. If I never felt any nerves before public speaking, then preparing wouldn’t even make it onto my to-do list.
Be mindful of over-preparing, though. This is a trait I see in a lot of women and something I used to do myself. But you want to get the balance right. Don’t script everything out and try to memorise it, that can increase your stress levels and actually be less impactful.
For more tips on preparation, check out my blog on how to prepare for a big presentation.
3. Confronting Nerves Head-On Builds Resilience and Confidence
Each time we face our fears, we prove to ourselves that we’re capable of more than we thought. Navigating through nerve-wracking situations – as long as you are taking the time to acknowledge and celebrate these successes – can build your confidence in your ability to tackle future challenges.
There’s nothing like the satisfaction of conquering your nerves and achieving something remarkable. Even when I was terrified of public speaking, I recognised the high or buzz I’d get afterwards. I definitely use nerves to carry me through future challenging situations.
Recently, I was asked to deliver a session to a big audience, over 200 people, about my personal experience climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I felt nervous. But I reminded myself, “Yes, I’m feeling some nerves because this is important to me and speaking about my personal journey makes me feel vulnerable. But I have done challenging things before, and I will be fine.”
So, instead of striving to eliminate those butterflies in your stomach or that rush of adrenaline, accept that nerves are likely to always be part of your journey. They signify growth, challenge, and the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone.
“Even though I have nerves, they remind me that I’m alive and passionate about what I do.”
Maya Angelou
Want to Manage Your Nerves When Public Speaking?
If you are looking for ways to make your nerves more manageable, here are two blogs you might find helpful.
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