Public speaking is one of the most common fears, and if you’ve ever experienced anxiety about public speaking – the racing heart, shaky hands or that sinking feeling when you’re asked to speak – you’re not alone.
For years, I avoided it. I’d find ways to duck out of opportunities. I told myself I wasn’t ready, or someone else would be better. But the truth was simple: I was scared.
Eventually, I realised I needed to stop waiting to feel ready. I had to find ways to do it, even when it felt uncomfortable. That shift changed everything. Why? Well, because I realised it was holding me back.
How Public Speaking Anxiety Held Me Back
Looking back, I can see just how much anxiety about public speaking was influencing my choices. I turned down opportunities that could have helped me grow. I stayed quiet in meetings when I had something to say. I convinced myself I wasn’t ready for promotion – not because I lacked the skills, but because I couldn’t bear the thought of the presentations that would come with it.
The fear wasn’t just a passing feeling. It was something that shaped the decisions I made and limited my sense of possibility. It sat in the background, quietly dictating what I said yes to – and more often, what I didn’t.
Working through that fear hasn’t just made me a more confident speaker. It’s opened up choices. I no longer feel like I’m being held back by something I can’t name. Tackling it gave me a greater sense of control over my own path – and, ultimately, over my future happiness.
Mindset Matters: You’re Not Broken If You’re Nervous
But how did I overcome the fear? It took a shift in mindset. I had to stop seeing nerves as something to be fixed. Feeling nervous doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you – it means you’re human. In fact, around around 77% of people experience anxiety about public speaking. So if your hands shake or your heart races, you’re in very good company.
Trying to chase nerves away completely often makes them worse. What helped me more was finding ways to meet them with curiosity. I started to explore what they were trying to tell me – usually, that I cared.
Let Go of the Myth of Fearlessness
Here’s something else I’ve come to believe: trying to overcome the fear of public speaking by aiming to be fearless is unrealistic. The goal isn’t to get rid of all anxiety about public speaking – it’s to build tools that help you show up anyway.
When we believe we must be completely calm and confident to speak, we create impossible standards. It sets us up to think something is wrong with us when we feel nervous. That belief can be more damaging than the nerves themselves.
Instead, I started focusing on what I could control – my preparation, my breathing, my perspective. I learned how to stay steady enough to speak, even with the nerves.
Mindset is a Game Changer
One of the biggest shifts for me was mindset.
I used to think the goal was to feel calm and confident all the time. I thought nerves meant I wasn’t ready – or worse, that something was wrong with me. But that belief kept me stuck.
Over time, I realised it wasn’t the fear itself that was the problem. It was what I made it mean.
I’d tell myself stories like: “You’re not a natural speaker.”
“You always mess this up.”
“You’re just not cut out for this.”
Those thoughts shaped how I felt. And how I showed up.
Once I started paying attention to that inner voice, things began to shift. I noticed the harsh language I used about myself. The unrealistic pressure to be perfect. The belief that I had to be great at it straight away – or not bother at all.
And slowly, I started changing it.
Instead of aiming for perfection, I aimed for progress.
Instead of judging my nerves, I got curious about them.
Instead of trying to get rid of fear, I focused on what I could do alongside it.
That change in mindset made all the difference. It didn’t stop the nerves completely – but it stopped them running the show.
Overcome Anxiety about Public Speaking: Support for the Journey
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing regular blogs covering what worked for me and what I’ve seen help the women I work with. It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about finding your way through it – so you can say yes to the things that matter to you.
You don’t need to be fearless to speak in public. You just need enough steadiness to begin.
If you’ve ever experienced anxiety about public speaking, I hope you’ll find something useful in the weeks ahead. You’re not alone – and there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. Reducing your public speaking anxiety is possible, if you take it one step at a time.
P.S. Want to know when the next blog is out? Join my mailing list and I’ll send it straight to your inbox.
Want Support to Feel Calmer and More Confident When You Speak?
If you’re still asking yourself how do I overcome the fear of public speaking, I want you to know it’s not about being fearless – it’s about finding the right support and tools that work for you.
That’s what I focus on in The Confidence Blueprint – my one-to-one coaching package designed to help you shift how you think about speaking, so it starts to feel less overwhelming and more like something you can handle.
Visit the website to find out more, or message me if you want to talk through whether it’s a good fit.
If you’re curious about how I got here, you might enjoy this blog I wrote about creating a life you don’t need a break from.
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