In this blog, I explore how to improve your self-esteem and how, in turn, this can help you overcome the fear of public speaking.
Self-esteem is all about how you see yourself and your worth. It’s the beliefs and feelings you have about your abilities, character, and overall value. When you have high self-esteem, you feel confident, capable, and deserving of respect and love. But if your self-esteem is low, you might doubt yourself, feel inferior, and struggle with confidence.
My Journey to Better Self-Esteem
When I was afraid of talking in public, it had a knock-on effect on my self-esteem, and I started to doubt myself in other areas. My once very confident demeanour was massively impacted. For me, improving my self-esteem was a personal journey. It involved becoming more self-aware, taking a more objective view of events, identifying negative thoughts, and then starting to replace them with more positive, empowering beliefs.
Acknowledge your public speaking successes
One of the best ways I found to improve my self-esteem (and ultimately overcome the fear of public speaking) was to regularly acknowledge and reflect on my accomplishments. This practice was particularly helpful in building a more accurate picture of my public speaking experiences.
By taking a balanced view, acknowledging what went well in addition to areas for improvement, I could build the evidence needed for a more accurate self-assessment. I found this had a profound impact on my journey to overcome the fear of public speaking.
Understanding negativity bias
When you are afraid of public speaking, what tends to happen, is that you judge the success of your presentation on how YOU feel about it. That’s subjective and frankly its dangerous! So, how do you take a more balanced view?
First, it’s important to understand the concept of negativity bias—the human tendency to focus more on negative experiences than positive ones. This bias was useful for evolution – basically to help humans stay alive. But it can make us dwell on failures and overlook our strengths.
But, I found that, if you consciously acknowledge what you have achieved (no matter how small), it helps counteract this bias. This is especially helpful when you are afraid of public speaking. Why? Because the picture you build up in your mind tends to be overwhelmingly negative. So, you need to work harder to make it more objective.
If you want to find out more about negativity bias check out this blog by Very Well Mind.
Write down your public speaking achievements
Keeping a success journal is a powerful tool to boost self-esteem. At the end of every week, I reflected and documented every success in a journal. This included:
- speaking up in meetings
- giving updates in front of seniors,
- participating in teleconferences, and
- presenting at formal meetings without visible signs of nerves.
This practice reminded me there was ample evidence to suggest I could speak in public, despite what my nerves told me in the moment.
Do try this at home
List all the times you have given a presentation, spoken up in a meeting, or been successful at a job interview. No achievement is too small to note. Your journey is unique, and recognising each success is crucial.
For me, when I had a fear of public speaking, just speaking up in a meeting with unfamiliar people was overwhelming. When I managed to do it, despite my nerves, I wrote it down as a success. Regularly reviewing these entries helped me see the positives and build confidence.
So, if you ask a question at a conference in front of 50 colleagues? Acknowledge it and write it down. You give an informal briefing to the director? Acknowledge it and write it down. You give an update at a team meeting on a project you’re leading on? Acknowledge it and write it down. You speak on a panel? Acknowledge it and write it down! Ok, you get the idea!
The importance of recognising your public speaking skills
Your brain tends to remember failures more vividly than successes due to negativity bias. Therefore, actively recording your successes can help balance this perspective. You might recall freezing once during an interview? But, if you document all the questions you answered well the result is a fuller picture of your capabilities.
I looked through my success journal often, especially when a big nerve-wracking event was approaching or I was feeling down or discouraged. The reality was plenty of tangible evidence that I could speak in public. The result, this countered the negative self-talk that often surfaced.
So, you must do some data collection of your own. You’re literally finding evidence to allow your brain to recognise there is no threat when you are public speaking. This, in turn, will reduce the fear of public speaking.
Building confidence through recognition
Recognising your successes, no matter how small, is a crucial step to building your public speaking confidence. This practice will help you appreciate your abilities, skills, and achievements. And by reminding yourself of past successes, you can help reduce the fear of public speaking. Because this practice helps to shift your focus from fear to the positive evidence of your capabilities.
Overcome the fear of public speaking
Public speaking is a common fear that can be exacerbated by low self-esteem. The fear of judgement or failure can be overwhelming. However, by improving your self-esteem, you can mitigate these fears. What happens when you believe in your worth and abilities is that you’re more likely to approach public speaking with confidence.
By acknowledging your achievements and reflecting on your successes, I believe you can build the confidence needed to speak publicly. Self-esteem is not built overnight—it’s a continuous process of self-awareness and positive reinforcement. But if you are serious about overcoming your fear of public speaking, then it is definitely worth the effort.
So I suggest that you start your journey today by recognising your worth and your accomplishments. You might just find that public speaking becomes less daunting and more empowering. And wouldn’t that be great?
Why Do I Get Nervous When Public Speaking?
In the blog, Are You Afraid of Public Speaking? I help you understand the reasons why you might be afraid of public speaking and what you can do about it.
Further Support With Public Speaking
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Let’s overcome your fear of public speaking and leave those public speaking nerves for dust!
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