Do You Know 61% of Women Fear Being Judged When Speaking Up in Meetings?
I can relate to that statistic, can you? When I feared public speaking, I avoided giving presentations, often afraid of being judged. I also kept quiet in other situations too, as I simply didn’t have the confidence to speak up in meetings. Are you often reluctant to speak up in meetings and other situations? Do you have something to say but the words just won’t come out? In this blog, we’ll look at how you can boost your confidence in meetings.
Why Women Feel Reluctant to Speak Up
The hesitancy to speak up in meetings is more common than you might think. According to a McKinsey report, 61% of women feel that fear of being judged prevents them from speaking up. So, if you struggle to share your opinion with confidence, you’re not alone.There are some important reasons why women might feel reluctant to speak up. Data shows that women often experience micro-aggressions at work, and at a significantly higher rate than men. This obviously makes it harder to feel safe and speak up. That results in women not sharing their opinions freely, to avoid appearing confrontational or aggressive. This also makes it harder to take risks, propose new ideas, or raise concerns as a woman.
Women Experience Micro-aggressions at a Significantly Higher Rate Than Men
Many women report that others get credit for their ideas too – especially in meetings (I relate to this one!). People interrupt women or speak over them twice as often as they do men. In virtual meetings, it’s even worse. A Catalyst survey found that 45% of women business leaders say it’s difficult for women to speak up in virtual meetings, with 1 in 5 feeling ignored during video calls. This data reflects what I hear anecdotally from women every day and highlights the real risks associated with speaking up. It’s frustrating, discouraging, and simply an unfair playing field.
So, when you look at the data, it’s no surprise if you don’t have the confidence to speak up in a meeting. There’s a lot at play, and much of it is systemic. Adding public speaking nerves and anxiety into the mix makes the challenge even greater.
What Are the Consequences of Not Speaking Up in Meetings?
So, you have an opinion you want to share, but you stay quiet. On one hand, this keeps you safe. But by not speaking out, what else are you missing out on? Let’s take a look.
Being Visible Enhances Your Career Opportunities
Has anyone ever told you to be more visible or to raise your profile? Yep, me too. It can feel frustrating, but it’s a crucial piece of the puzzle to career success. Having the confidence to speak up in meetings is one way to increase your visibility (and there are others). But if you’re avoiding it you could be damaging your chances for career progression.
Think that you can just work really hard, be great at your job and you’ll get ahead? I have some bad news for you. It rarely works this way. Women who actively participate in discussions and make themselves visible are more likely to receive recognition for their contributions and be considered for promotions and other key career-enhancing projects.
An Opportunity to Attract Senior Leaders’ Attention
It’s also important to be visible and get on the radar of more senior people. According to a McKinsey report, women are 24% less likely than men to receive advice from senior leaders on how to advance in their careers. This clearly puts women at an disadvantage.
Then, research from the University of Cambridge also showed that men are more likely to have a sponsor than women. Sponsorship is where someone advocates for you, either on a formal or informal basis. It significantly increases the chances of career progression. Why? Because senior levels make a lot of decisions regarding who will get opportunities to work on high-profile projects or receive pay awards. So, when someone advocates for you in that room it’s noticeably beneficial. However, if you want someone to speak on your behalf, they must first know of your existence and be impressed by what you offer.
Want to find out more? Check out the Ted Talk by Carla Harris “How to find the person that can help you get ahead at work“.
So, besides it being limiting to your career, what other impacts can not having the confidence to speak up in meetings have?
Combating Gender Bias and Stereotypes
McKinsey reports that nearly a third of women—31%—refrain from speaking up or sharing opinions to avoid being perceived as difficult, and 32% censor themselves to avoid appearing unlikeable. This means we’re missing valuable insights from a third of women!
Diverse teams benefit greatly from women’s unique perspectives, it leads to better decision-making and innovation. When women contribute their viewpoints can be considered, leading teams towards more creative and effective solutions. Additionally, active participation in meetings allows women to challenge and reshape existing biases, asserting their ideas and perspectives. This is crucial in workplaces where women often contend with being overlooked or interrupted. Addressing these gender disparities requires collective action: everyone must speak up when they observe these issues, meeting chairpersons should improve their management, and male allies need to recognise and address these disparities.
Five Practical Tips To Help Boost Your Confidence in Meetings
Here are 5 things to focus on to help take you from fearful about speaking up in meetings to feeling confident and comfortable!
1️⃣ Identify Your Fears
Take some time to identify the specific fears and beliefs that are holding you back from speaking up in meetings. Do you worry about being judged or criticised? Do you doubt the value of your contributions? Do you fear that you will appear aggressive or unlikeable? Understanding your fears is the first step to overcoming them. Consider journaling on these questions or discussing them with a supportive colleague or mentor.
2️⃣ Start Small
Begin by practising in less daunting settings, like smaller group meetings. As you gain confidence, gradually progress to larger meetings and more challenging situations. Try to make at least one contribution in each session. Focus on active listening to understand the flow of discussion, which can help you find the right moment to speak.
3️⃣ Prepare and Practice
Take the time to prepare in advance and be clear about what you want to say. Don’t think you have time? Well, if you want to build your confidence to speak up more, then preparation should be a priority. Read the agenda and papers in advance and decide on at least one point you will raise, question you will ask or information you will share. This will help you feel more ready to speak up. You can also engage with other speakers’ points to build a more interactive discussion.
4️⃣ Clarify your Role
Understand your role in the meeting. If you’re unclear, ask beforehand. Remind yourself of your strengths and the unique perspective you bring. Focus on what you know and can contribute, rather than dwelling on what you don’t know. Everyone’s input is valuable, regardless of expertise level. Whether you’re facilitating discussions, providing an independent viewpoint, or representing a department like HR or Finance, understanding and leveraging your role can guide when and how you contribute effectively.
5️⃣ Get Feedback and Support
Seek feedback from trusted colleagues or mentors to bolster your confidence. Unsure about the relevance of your points or how impactful your delivery was? We often cloud our own perceptions with assumptions, making an objective viewpoint invaluable. You could also consider keeping a journal to reflect on each meeting, noting insights and tracking your progress over time.
Feeling more confident to speak up in meetings? Try out these tips and let me know how it goes! The world needs to hear your voice!
Further Support with Public Speaking
As a public speaking coach, I’ve seen countless individuals transform their fear into confidence. I used to struggle too, but through sustained effort and proven techniques, I conquered my nerves and found my voice. I want that for you too!
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Want to know the first step to improving your public speaking? I see many women struggling without clear goals or effective strategies. But without clear goals and focused action, your speaking skills stagnate. Fear keeps you stuck. This one thing will help you become a better public speaker.
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