If you feel stuck, overwhelmed or unsure where to start with public speaking then this blog is for you! I’m sharing my suggestions to help you take your first steps towards becoming a more confident speaker.
I’ve been there. I’ve felt that tight knot in my stomach before a meeting, the relief when a presentation got cancelled, the frustration that came from feeling like I was the only person struggling with public speaking. Through my own experience, and from working with women who face the same challenges, I know that speaking confidence isn’t something you’re either born with or without. It’s a skill that can be developed.
Here are five places to start.
- Recognise you’re not alone.
- Connect with why you’re doing this.
- Set a goal to improve your public speaking skills.
- Notice what you’re already good at.
- Build confidence through consistent action.
1. Recognise that you’re not alone
One of the first things to understand is that speaking nerves are much more common than they appear. It’s easy to assume that confident speakers have always been that way, but many people have learned to manage their nerves over time. Feeling anxious before speaking doesn’t mean you’re not capable or that you don’t have something valuable to say.
Many women I work with are knowledgeable, experienced and successful in their roles, but still find themselves holding back in meetings, avoiding opportunities to speak or questioning whether their ideas are good enough. Recognising that you’re not the only one facing this challenge is an important first step. It helps you move away from “what’s wrong with me?” and towards “what can I do to build my confidence?”
2. Connect with Why You’re Doing This
For me, getting unstuck wasn’t just about being braver. It started with getting clear on why I wanted to speak in the first place. So, take some time to understand why it’s important to you. Ask yourself:
- Why does this matter to me?
- What opportunities am I missing because of fear?
- What would be possible if I felt more confident speaking up?
For me, the shift happened when I realised fear was holding me back from work I cared deeply about. I was passionate about helping women speak up and lead but in reality I wasn’t speaking up myself. In the end, that misalignment became too uncomfortable to ignore.
Purpose gives you a powerful reason to begin. But more than that, it gives you something to come back to when your motivation dips. There may be challenging moments, setbacks, and days when it all feels too much. Your why will help you keep going.
If you’re not sure where to start, try journaling on these prompts:
- What would I do if fear wasn’t getting in the way?
- What am I tired of missing out on?
You don’t need to have it all figured out, even just starting with a glimpse of what matters to you is useful.
3. Set a goal to improve your Public Speaking Skills
Trying to “get over” a fear of public speaking overnight isn’t realistic and it also puts unnecessary pressure on you. Instead, try to pick one meaningful goal to work towards. I’d start by thinking about one speaking situation where you’d like to feel more confident.
- What would make the biggest difference for you?
Maybe it’s:
- sharing your ideas in meetings
- speaking up when you have something to add
- delivering a presentation to larger or more senior audiences
- saying yes to opportunities instead of automatically avoiding them
My first goal wasn’t to become a confident speaker overnight. It was to stop turning things down automatically. Even if I didn’t feel ready, I started giving myself time to consider opportunities and then finding ways to take part despite the nerves.
Bit choose a goal that feels right for you – it should stretch you a bit but also feel achievable. Confidence builds when you take small steps and start proving to yourself what you’re capable of.
4. What Are You Already Good At?
When fear takes over, it’s easy to forget what you already bring to the table. Just because your hands shake when you go up to present that doesn’t mean you don’t already have some skills worth recognising. Maybe you’re a thoughtful communicator or a good listener. Maybe you’re good at storytelling or you know how to read a room. These strengths count and they’re part of your speaking toolkit. Public speaking isn’t just about managing nerves, projection and presence – it’s also about connection.
I used to think I had to become someone totally different – more assertive, more polished, more “speaker-like.” But when I started noticing the strengths I already had – like humour, authenticity and clarity – I realised I didn’t need to become someone else. I just needed to find a way to bring me into the room.
5. Build Confidence Through Consistent Action
Overcoming a fear of public speaking doesn’t happen by thinking about it – it happens by doing. But that doesn’t mean you need to start by delivering a TED Talk! Learning about your nerves, your mindset and what’s holding you back is an important first step. But the real progress comes when you start applying what you learn to real speaking situations.
You don’t need to wait until you feel completely ready. Start looking for small opportunities to practise and experiment with different approaches. This could be volunteering to run a session for your team on something that feels important to you, sharing your thoughts earlier in meetings or practising explaining your ideas out loud.
Each time you try something new, you learn more about what works for you and what helps you feel more comfortable when speaking.
Public speaking is as much about mindset as it is about delivery. When the inner critic shows up (“You’re not good at this”, “Everyone else is better”), learn to notice it and challenge it. Fear might be there, but it doesn’t have to make the decisions anymore. Building your speaking skills takes time, but every opportunity to practise should help move you forward.
Take the next step
If this fear has been with you for a while, you might feel like things will never change. But they can. And they do, when you you find the right support. If you’re ready to take the next step, my next group workshop designed for women starts in the Autumn.
You can find all the details here.
