Finally, the temperature is starting to rise, and the days are getting longer. You might be looking forward to a break over the summer, maybe even a holiday in the sun. Many people find themselves yearning for those precious moments of respite, eagerly awaiting the next vacation or weekend break. But imagine if you could overcome public speaking anxiety—or any other fear holding you back—and create a life of purpose and fulfilment? Well, that’s exactly what I did.
What If You Could Create a Life You Don’t Need a Break From?
Imagine a life that’s fulfilling, energising, and truly aligned with your passions and values. It might sound like a tall order, but with the right mindset and a deliberate approach, it is attainable. If you’ve been following my blog, you’ll know that I suffered with intense public speaking anxiety for many years. Simply being asked “what’s your name and where are you from?” in a meeting would make my heart race. I dreaded any form of public speaking! And I let this fear of public speaking and a lack of confidence dictate my career choices and ultimately my happiness. If you told me 10 years ago that I would be where I am now, I wouldn’t have believed it for a minute! But my journey to overcome public speaking anxiety ultimately led to a more fulfilling life. Here’s how!
Doing ‘The Work’ To Overcome Public Speaking Anxiety Can Change Your Whole Life
When I stopped letting my fear of public speaking hold me back, I also found my purpose… to help other women overcome their own self-limiting beliefs, become more confident and improve their communication skills. Now, it’s a real joy for me to support women like you on the journey to overcome public speaking anxiety and smash those public speaking goals!
I’m Currently Travelling the World
It’s been a dream of mine to travel the world for many years, and I made this a reality in 2022 when I set off to the Netherlands to see the tulips in full bloom. That was my first bucket list item ticked off! Since then, I’ve visited 28 countries on my own, working remotely the entire time, while lapping up what each new culture has to offer (see some of my travel adventures at fortytravellingsolo). After 20+ years in a corporate career, I have now created a life where I feel energised and fulfilled.
When You Face Your Fears, Anything is Possible!
What I have found is that, when you truly work on yourself, do the deep mindset work, and get uncomfortable, anything becomes possible. Just a few years ago, I wouldn’t have had the confidence to travel alone, let alone spend two years exploring the world solo! It’s amazing what can happen when you push past your fears. This is one of the many reasons I’m excited for you to experience the transformation that comes from facing your fears head-on.
Now, I’m not suggesting that everyone should sell everything and travel the world solo in their forties. But imagine if the fear of public speaking wasn’t holding you back—what would you be able to accomplish? If you’re ready to break free from what’s holding you back, whether it’s public speaking anxiety or something else, these six steps can help guide you toward creating a fulfilling life.
Six Steps to Creating a Fulfilling Life
1. Get Clear on What Truly Matters to You
The average person spends about one-third of their life at work. Eek, I know! So, it makes sense to start here. If you can find work that energises you and aligns with your core values, you’re already on the path to a fulfilling life. Take some time to reflect on your core values: what’s most important to you? Core values might include things like integrity, creativity, community, honesty, or growth. When you understand these fundamental aspects of yourself you can start to make intentional choices – and that ultimately leads to a more satisfying and energising life.
I stayed stuck in a career for a long time because trying something new felt scary and unknown. But when I reflected and was brutally honest with myself, I realised it didn’t align with my values. When I looked at it from this angle, it was no wonder I wasn’t feeling fulfilled!
Take Action: What are your core values? What would you really be doing if money were no object? Or if you weren’t so worried about what’s expected of you or about maximising your potential?
2. Identify Your Passions
Next, let’s think about what brings you happiness and satisfaction. Maybe it’s helping others, solving problems, creating something new, or working collaboratively? Understanding what makes you happy can guide you towards things that you find both energising and fulfilling. When you find work that aligns with your passions and interests it can certainly make your professional life more engaging and enjoyable. But, with 168 hours in a week, even if integrating your passions into your job isn’t possible, there should be ways you can incorporate them into your life overall. Supporting women and girls is a passion of mine, and I also love being active and taking on challenges. So climbing Mount Kilimanjaro on International Women’s Day with an all-woman team was a perfect passion project!
Take Action: What brings you happiness and satisfaction? Think about the activities or topics you’re genuinely passionate about. What excites you and captures your interest? How can you bring more of these passions into your life?
3. Set Long-Term Goals
The next stage is to think about your long-term goals and where you want to be in the future. It’s okay if things don’t happen overnight—I started to set my big goals back in 2015-16, and it took me six years to fully bring my plans to life. Goals are what give us direction and purpose, and there’s nothing like the feeling of ticking them off.
I’ve noticed many women hesitate to write down their goals because they’re unsure if they’re achievable, realistic or possible. But here’s the thing: you don’t need to know exactly how you’re going to achieve it. And who is to say what’s realistic or possible! You just need to know that you want it. The rest will become clearer as you go along. I found that breaking down my long-term goals into smaller, manageable steps really helped me. Then I created a plan to work on them bit by bit and I didn’t mind if things got messy! If you really want it, you’ll find a way.
Take Action: Set a goal today that brings you closer to a more fulfilling life? Can you create a goal that feels like a gorgeous present to yourself? A goal that gives you energy, comes from your authentic voice, and is about becoming more of who you really are? Read more about author Tara Mohr’s concept of ‘gift-goals’ for inspiration.
4. Make Intentional Choices and Take Action
Once you’re clear on your values, passions, and goals, you can start making choices that truly align with who you are. In your professional life, you can start to seek out work environments and roles that reflect these elements. If your current situation isn’t meeting these criteria, don’t be afraid to make changes.
Outside of work, think about how you can reshape your daily routine. For instance, I love being outdoors but when I had a demanding job I didn’t get much chance to be in nature, so I started doing walking one-to-ones with my team. It’s amazing how a bit of creativity can make a big difference.
And don’t wait for everything to be perfect. Taking action, even if it’s a bit messy or not fully planned out, is often the best way forward. From my experience, it’s the aligned actions, however imperfect, that can really make a difference.
Take action: What action can you take that is aligned to your values, passions and goals? How can you get more of what you want into your life as whole?
5. Embrace Imperfection and Take the Leap
As women, we often feel the need to have the perfect plan before taking any action. We think, “I need to learn more, take one more course, or get a few more years of experience.” But sometimes, you just need to stop worrying about the “what ifs” and finally say yes to what you’ve been putting off.
When I had public speaking anxiety, I avoided a lot of opportunities to speak in public, because I was fixed on perfection. Then I started saying yes before I felt fully ready—presenting to large groups, hosting events, and more. This ultimately helped me overcome my fear of public speaking. Similarly, when I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and set off on my solo travel adventure, I certainly didn’t have a perfect plan. I simply believed that perfection wasn’t necessary and trusted my ability to figure things out along the way.
Now, I’m not saying you should skip research or stop growing. Embrace a growth mindset and keep seeking opportunities for learning and development—if you’ve been following my blog, you’ll know how crucial mindset is in any transformation. But you don’t need to wait until you have all the knowledge or a perfect plan. Sometimes, it’s the willingness to start, even when things aren’t perfect, that leads to the most rewarding outcomes.
Take Action: Think of something you’ve been putting off because you’re waiting for the “perfect” moment. What’s one small step you can take today to move towards it, even if things aren’t fully in place? Trust yourself to figure it out as you go.
6. Develop Meaningful Connections
The final piece to the puzzle? Finding the right support. Humans are deeply social creatures, and meaningful connections are crucial. You know those people who make you feel good just by being around them? And then there are others who seem to drain your energy. I’ve heard them called energy radiators and vacuums. And I’ve found this to be true. So, it’s important to be mindful of who you spend your time with.
Surround yourself with supportive and like-minded individuals who uplift and inspire you. At the same time, connecting with people who have different perspectives can be enriching and thought-provoking. When approached constructively, these interactions can also be energising. For me, developing meaningful connections is an ongoing effort, especially as a solo traveller. I’ve had to get creative to stay in touch with friends back home through regular zoom calls and WhatsApp groups. I also try to meet new people and build friendships wherever I go. This gets harder as you get older, but I find that connections are a vital part of my journey and can significantly contribute to my sense of fulfilment.
Take action: Do you have a community that shares your values and aspirations? These connections might come from colleagues, friends, family, or mentors. How can you build more meaningful relationships that provide a sense of belonging and offer support, encouragement, and collaboration? For more insights, read this Forbes article ‘Surrounding Yourself With The Right People Changes Everything.“
Ready to Create a Life That Reflects Who You Are?
When you align how you spend your time with your true self, life transforms from a constant grind into a source of energy and inspiration. Instead of feeling the need to take frequent breaks just to recharge, your day-to-day becomes naturally fulfilling. Creating a life that you don’t want to escape from takes conscious effort, self-reflection, and patience. It can feel scary at times, but what awaits for you on the other side of that fear is worth it!
If my journey has inspired you, I encourage you to take the first step towards overcoming your fear, whether that’s public speaking anxiety or anything else thats holding you back, and designing a life that truly energises and fulfils you.
Take Action: What can you do today to help you create a more fulfilling life? Whether it’s exploring a new interest, setting a long-term goal, or practising self-care, every step counts.
Share Your Journey: I’d love to hear about the steps you’re taking. Share your thoughts and progress in the comments below or get in touch.
Inspired to Solo Travel? Check out some of my travel adventures at fortytravellingsolo.
Is Public Speaking Anxiety Holding You Back From Living the Life You Deserve
Ready to shatter your speaking fears and overcome public speaking anxiety? As a public speaking coach, I’ve seen countless individuals transform their fear into confidence. If you want public speaking tips and advice direct to your inbox then sign up for my newsletter. You will get exclusive access to FREE sessions, resources, public speaking tips and support.
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