A Beginner’s Guide To Building Confidence In Public Speaking.
Feeling Stuck With Public Speaking?
Getting started
If you feel stuck, overwhelmed or unsure where to start with public speaking, this guide will help you take your first steps towards building confidence.
I know how challenging it can feel. I’ve experienced the tight knot in my stomach before a meeting, the relief when a presentation was cancelled and the frustration of feeling like I was the only person struggling with public speaking.
Through my own experience, and from working with women who face the same challenges, I know that speaking confidence isn’t something you’re either born with or without. It’s a skill that can be developed.
Here are five places to start.
I know how challenging it can feel. I’ve experienced the tight knot in my stomach before a meeting, the relief when a presentation was cancelled and the frustration of feeling like I was the only person struggling with public speaking.
Through my own experience, and from working with women who face the same challenges, I know that speaking confidence isn’t something you’re either born with or without. It’s a skill that can be developed.
Here are five places to start.
- Recognise you’re not alone.
- Connect with why you’re doing this.
- Set a goal to improve your public speaking skills.
- Notice what you’re already good at.
- Build confidence through consistent action.
A guide to building confidence and taking your first steps
One of the first things to understand is that speaking nerves are much more common than they appear.
It’s easy to assume that confident speakers have always been that way, but many people have learned to manage their nerves over time. Feeling anxious before speaking doesn’t mean you’re not capable or that you don’t have something valuable to say.
Many women I work with are knowledgeable, experienced and successful in their roles, but still find themselves holding back in meetings, avoiding opportunities to speak or questioning whether their ideas are good enough.
Recognising that you’re not the only one facing this challenge is an important first step. It helps you move away from “what’s wrong with me?” and towards “what can I do to build my confidence?”
It’s easy to assume that confident speakers have always been that way, but many people have learned to manage their nerves over time. Feeling anxious before speaking doesn’t mean you’re not capable or that you don’t have something valuable to say.
Many women I work with are knowledgeable, experienced and successful in their roles, but still find themselves holding back in meetings, avoiding opportunities to speak or questioning whether their ideas are good enough.
Recognising that you’re not the only one facing this challenge is an important first step. It helps you move away from “what’s wrong with me?” and towards “what can I do to build my confidence?”
1. recognise you're not alone
Before focusing on how to become a more confident speaker, take some time to understand why this matters to you.
Ask yourself:
For me, the shift happened when I realised fear was holding me back from work I cared deeply about. I wanted to support women to speak up and lead, but I wasn’t always speaking up myself.
Your “why” gives you a reason to keep going when things feel uncomfortable. Confidence is built over time, and having a clear reason for making a change can help you keep moving forward.
Try reflecting on:
You don’t need to have everything figured out, just start with what matters to you.
Ask yourself:
- What opportunities am I missing because of fear?
- What would be possible if I felt more confident speaking up?
For me, the shift happened when I realised fear was holding me back from work I cared deeply about. I wanted to support women to speak up and lead, but I wasn’t always speaking up myself.
Your “why” gives you a reason to keep going when things feel uncomfortable. Confidence is built over time, and having a clear reason for making a change can help you keep moving forward.
Try reflecting on:
- What would I do if fear wasn’t getting in the way?
- What am I tired of missing out on?
You don’t need to have everything figured out, just start with what matters to you.
2. connect with why you're doing this
Don't worry, you don’t need to put “deliver a TED Talk” on your to-do list just yet. But having a goal to work towards is important. So start by thinking about one speaking situation where you’d like to feel more confident.
Maybe it’s:
My first goal wasn’t to become a confident speaker overnight. It was to stop turning things down automatically. Even if I didn’t feel ready, I started giving myself time to consider opportunities and then finding ways to take part despite the nerves.
Choose a goal that feels realistic and achievable. Confidence builds when you take small steps and start proving to yourself what you’re capable of.
- What would make the biggest difference for you?
Maybe it’s:
- sharing your ideas in meetings
- speaking up when you have something to add
- delivering a presentation to a small group
- saying yes to opportunities instead of automatically avoiding them
My first goal wasn’t to become a confident speaker overnight. It was to stop turning things down automatically. Even if I didn’t feel ready, I started giving myself time to consider opportunities and then finding ways to take part despite the nerves.
Choose a goal that feels realistic and achievable. Confidence builds when you take small steps and start proving to yourself what you’re capable of.
3. set a goal to improve your speaking skills
When fear takes over, it’s easy to forget what you already bring to the table. Just because your hands shake when you go up to present doesn’t mean you don’t already have valuable skills.
Maybe you’re already confident when you present to your team or speak with small groups or familiar faces. Maybe you listen well. Maybe you know how to read a room. These strengths count, and they’re already part of your speaking toolkit.
I used to think I had to become someone totally different (more assertive, more polished, more “speaker-like”) but when I started noticing the strengths I already had - like humour, authenticity and clarity - I realised I didn’t need to become someone else. I just needed to find a way to bring myself into the room.
Recognising what you already do well is an important part of building confidence. You’re not starting from scratch. You’re building on the skills and strengths you already have.
Maybe you’re already confident when you present to your team or speak with small groups or familiar faces. Maybe you listen well. Maybe you know how to read a room. These strengths count, and they’re already part of your speaking toolkit.
I used to think I had to become someone totally different (more assertive, more polished, more “speaker-like”) but when I started noticing the strengths I already had - like humour, authenticity and clarity - I realised I didn’t need to become someone else. I just needed to find a way to bring myself into the room.
Recognising what you already do well is an important part of building confidence. You’re not starting from scratch. You’re building on the skills and strengths you already have.
4. NOTICE WHAT YOU'RE ALREADY GOOD AT
Learning about your nerves, your mindset and what’s holding you back is an important first step. But the real progress comes when you start applying what you learn to real speaking situations.
You don’t need to wait until you feel completely ready. Start looking for small opportunities to practise and experiment with different approaches.
This could be volunteering to run a session for your team on something that feels important to you, sharing your thoughts earlier in meetings or practising explaining your ideas out loud.
Each time you try something new, you learn more about what works for you and what helps you feel more comfortable when speaking.
Public speaking is as much about mindset as it is about delivery. When the inner critic shows up (“You’re not good at this”, “Everyone else is better”), learn to notice it and challenge it. Fear might be there, but it doesn’t have to make the decisions anymore.
Building your speaking skills takes time, but every opportunity to practise helps you move forward.
You don’t need to wait until you feel completely ready. Start looking for small opportunities to practise and experiment with different approaches.
This could be volunteering to run a session for your team on something that feels important to you, sharing your thoughts earlier in meetings or practising explaining your ideas out loud.
Each time you try something new, you learn more about what works for you and what helps you feel more comfortable when speaking.
Public speaking is as much about mindset as it is about delivery. When the inner critic shows up (“You’re not good at this”, “Everyone else is better”), learn to notice it and challenge it. Fear might be there, but it doesn’t have to make the decisions anymore.
Building your speaking skills takes time, but every opportunity to practise helps you move forward.
